


Leave You Behind...and Dream Ahead

by SantaManana



Category: Samurai of Hyuga (Interactive Fiction)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Wakes & Funerals, raising a child on your own
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:16:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24497812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SantaManana/pseuds/SantaManana
Summary: In the wake of Emiko's funeral, Hatch needs to learn how to live on without her and with their son.
Relationships: Hachirobei "Hatch"/Ronin, former Jun Uesugi/Ronin
Kudos: 6





	Leave You Behind...and Dream Ahead

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LovableEmiko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovableEmiko/gifts).



A spring day. A blue sky. Not a cloud or bird in sight above, not in the last five minutes, not in the last half-hour, but still Hatch kept his eyes trained up to the sky. His neck was severely sore but still he refused to let his chin drop down. 

After all, it helped to keep the tears at bay.

It was too beautiful of an afternoon to be Emiko’s funeral, but here they were. All of their friends solemnly gathered around a funeral pyre and Hatch with Emiko’s baby in his arms. No, just _his_ baby now. 

Masashi stood in front of the pyre, face calm and placid as he chanted the last blessings over the body. A remarkable feat for the young man who once couldn’t stop sobbing over Emiko when she was bleeding out after her battle with Jun so long ago. 

Emiko. Oh, _Emiko_. Who was up on top of that woodpile: draped with burial cloths and so still and silent. How was Hatch supposed to get used to that? Had it really been only weeks since she passed from this world? Time had blurred by but he could still close his eyes and remember every detail of that day she died giving birth to their boy. When his ever-cheerful wife was screaming in so much pain that Toshio, Masashi, and Kohaku had to hold back Hatch with all their strength to keep him from breaking down the door to where she was in labor. When he was finally let in and saw Emiko all pale and grey while too much blood stained the futon beneath her. When Momoko with mournful eyes carefully deposited a wailing bundle into his arms and Hatch then knew that Emiko would never wake up and see her husband cradling their child. 

Masashi finished his prayers and stepped back. He grabbed a torch from the blazing brazier nearby and held it out to Hatch with steady hands, though the man could see the tears that teemed in unsteady eyes. 

Time for the final rite. The last goodbye. As family to Emiko, Hatch had the responsibility to send her off in the embrace of flames, cleansing her body and spirit before it could rise to the heavens above. He planted one more kiss to his little one’s forehead before handing him over to Momoko. The baby snuffled at the change in caregivers but otherwise stayed asleep, remaining peacefully unaware that his father was about to give a final farewell to his mother. 

Hatch stepped forward. Alone. He lit the pyre. The fire blazed up, and with it all his hopes and dreams of a future where he would grow old with his wife, surrounded by all their children and grandchildren. The rest of the mourners slowly retreated into the distance as the sun sank down. Against the slowly-darkening sky, he could see the embers rising up into the air like fireflies released from cupped hands. 

* * *

It was a fearful thing to be haunted by someone he loved. Flashes of memories, flickering in and out of existence. Hatch would reach out to pull his late wife into a bone-crushing hug but then watched as his hands ran through empty air.

Emiko giggling at some stupid joke he made. Emiko sitting at the table, opening up her mouth to accept the bit of rice he offered to her and her growing belly. Emiko lounging on the porch in the sunlight, idly stretching out her legs so Hatch could rub them because her swollen feet hurt _so, so much. Hatch, won’t you pretty please take care of them?_

The ghost of her danced in and out of his life. False dreams that choked his heart whenever he thought he saw long black hair and a scar on a mischievous set of lips. Blink once and she grinned at him behind her fox mask. Blink twice and the windowsill was empty—there was never anyone sitting there and he had to remind himself _Hatch you stupid_ **_idiot_ ** _, she’s gone and you couldn’t save her, you failed your best friend again you_ **_idiot_ **— 

He ached for the memories so badly, the glimpses of her in his life again. Like dust motes in the sunlight, floating carelessly in the air because they had neither home nor destination to latch onto. 

* * *

“Hey handsome,” a voice whispered above him. “Are you just going to sleep all day? Isn’t that my job, hmm~?”  
  


Hatch shivered as a fingertip slowly traced up his sternum, dragged along his neck, and lightly bopped his nose.   
  


“I love your eyes, y’know. Will you open them for me? Let me see them, please?” Emiko pleaded.

Hatch blearily opened his eyes. Heard his baby crying. 

And in the room, he saw Jun leaning over the cradle. His long brown hair was trailing down, within the reach of his little boy’s grasp. 

For the first time since Emiko’s death, Hatch was angry. White-hot rage filled his veins and pumped through his limbs, urging them to move, move, _move_. He rushed forward and grabbed the lapels of Jun’s kimono and slammed him up against the wall, so hard that the entire house shook. 

Hatch snarled at Jun, the sound more beast than human. How ironic, the once-gentle pony pinning down the once-savage wolf. The man who swore not to draw his blade as General Shatao now contemplating on how to best mutilate this murderer.

He needed to get rid of this _intruder_ , this _danger_ , the man who had _dared_ to hurt his _Emiko_ and _oh god, what if he hurt our baby, what if this is his revenge_ , _what if what if what if_ —

“What are you doing here?” Hatch snapped at Jun. The swordsman looked terrible. His hair hung down in greasy tails and his face was gaunt and overgrown with stubble. His clothes were stained with week-old splotches and his bandages were carelessly wrapped around the stump of his right arm. Even Hatch, who had grown up around the filth and the scum of Jijinto, had never seen a man more miserable-looking than Jun at this moment. 

And against Hatch’s expectations of the mad man, there were no traces of the Jigoku in his brown eyes as he met Hatch’s furious gaze head-on and simply said—

“To try to save you.”

Hatch blinked in surprise but still kept his grip tight on Jun.

“Give me one good reason why—”  
  


“You’re hollow, without her. Everyday without her next to you feels like a slow suicide. You’re afraid of forgetting the little details about her. The color of her eyes or the sound of her voice. How she likes to smoke sometimes but hides it. How her eyes light up when she's about to pull a prank on you. You want to run away but you don’t know where to go because she’s in everywhere you look. She’s gone and you know you should move on but how can you? She was your world.”

Hatch let go. Maybe it was pity for the way that Jun looked. Maybe it was the way Jun spoke sadly with all the wisdom of a man who had lost the woman he loved so many times. Once, to freedom’s call luring her away from Gensai; twice, to Hatch’s love enveloping her in a warmth she had never known. Thrice, to death’s embrace: so far away where no one could reach her. In any case, Hatch slowly uncurled his hands and dropped Jun. He swiftly crossed over to the cradle and picked up his child, soothing his baby while checking him over for any injuries. 

Jun slowly picked himself off the floor. 

“I know I have no right to say this, but you have to live. Live, for your son, if nothing else. He’s the last living part of Emiko, but he’ll never know that unless you’re around to tell him. I know—,” he heaved a sigh, “I know it seems impossible, but there comes a time when you can learn to live without her and walk in the sun again. When you can think of her name and not feel like you want to tear down the world. Just...don’t be like me. Going down a path of no return. It’s dangerous to go alone in the dark.”

Jun went to the door. “You won’t ever see me again. I won’t bother you and your son. One last look at her legacy in exchange for this.”

With that, he departed.

Hatch remained cradling his son who had grown quiet at the sight of his father’s sad face. He could feel the tears threatening to rise up again as he mused over Jun’s words.

“Is he right?” He asked the ghost of Emiko, off to his side. “Can I do this without you? Leave you behind and dream ahead?”

“I’m so scared,” he whispered. 

But Emiko didn’t give him an answer. She kept cooing over their son instead, her finger reaching out to his tiny hands but never quite touching. 

**Author's Note:**

> [peeks out from the house] 
> 
> Hello SoH readers! It's been a while since I've last posted here on A03, but that doesn't mean I've stopped writing. This lovely request from LovableEmiko (also @theanimedork on Tumblr) will actually be the first of many CoG fics I'm transferring from Discord over to here in hopes that those of us in quarantine might need a little something to pass the time (although, perhaps angst is not the first choice of fiction one turns to in these strange times...)


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